Operation 9 Month Off - Week 3-5

Err, take 3 - I've started this post two other times, but with running off to care for babes - it's disappeared twice since I didn't save it! Anyway...I better get it done, so that I can link up with

How did I do this week: (eek - the last 3 weeks!)

Anyone want to guess why I've been AWOL the last three weeks? No, no, I'm not pregnant again...we need to give this body a little more recovery time than that! I have just completely falled off the wagon - I stopped charting my foods, I ate far too many ice cream sodas, and I didn't make exercise or even being active a priority! Err, I'm soo mad at myself - because I actually got down to 183 - which was 2 pounds below my pre-Noah weight and now I'm back up to 187! I decided it's really time to take things seriously - it's time to post real numbers and get real with my fitness journey! This isn't just about losing weight! It is about being a good example for my boys, it's about being healthy for another pregnancy in the future, it's about living better and longer with my family! So, I found a few weight loss link-ups that I plan to join in on, and on Monday I (& J) signed up for WW online. I want to lose a lot of weight and I want to lose it quickly, but I don't want to hurt my ability to nurse Noah, or to limit his nutrition or calories in any way. My issue has always been motivation and sticking to it - but I need to be motivated to be healthier for my kids - to not be the tired mom! If I am going to stick with this as I lifestyle, then I need the flexibility of something like Weight Watchers to let me have my "cheat day" while not blowing the whole diet! It doesn't do me any good to lose ten pounds only to gain it back over and over because I wasn't drinking enough water or I wasn't eating enough, etc. I really like how the new plan gives you lots of healthy options for 0 points (like the banana I just had). I did Weight Watchers in college when I was at my lowest weight (128) and it was a lifestyle that I could stick with and it was easy - but over time I slowly shifted out of that lifestyle - so I'm hoping getting back into it I can go back to the old habits that I used to have and create a new lifestyle - rather than the calorie counting that I've been doing and constant analysis of everything. As I remember, you get to the point where you know how many points most of your favorite foods are - which makes things easy! I really want this to be easy - and I'm coming to the realization - that it's just not. We've hit the 3 month mark - so if I want to hit my goals by Noah's first birthday then the 9 month countdown is officially ON! It's time to make this happen! Hopefully, finding a few friends along the way will help me stick to it!

Measurements (starting points in italics): 

• Waist (smallest point): 35" (35")
• Hips (largest point): 45" (45")
• Arms: 12" (12")
• Thighs: 28" (28")
• Chest: 40" (40")
• Weight: 187.3 (189.9)

Here's a reminder of the rewards I have planned for reaching weight loss goals:

• Reach 0 point ( 185 - post-Owen/pre-Noah weight): Get my eyebrows done - DONE
• -5 pounds: Massage
• -10 pounds: Manicure/pedicure
• -20 pounds (pre-Owen weight): New woven wrap - a shortie 
• -30 pounds: Haircut/color
• -40 pounds: Overnight date/mini vacation 
• -50 pounds (goal weight): New wardrobe (I'll need it!)

Want to do this together and help encourage one another and keep each other on track?? I'd love a partner, or several, in this! Let me know! I'm on Weight Watchers and myfitnesspal and fitbit and twitter - join me! Email or comment with your usernames and I'll friend you!

Happy Labor Day

Well, here we are - yet another holiday home alone with the kids - and I'm sure we're not the only ones - but just for fun let's discuss how we got here...

The week before last was rough...J worked late Thursday getting home around 9 then Friday he got stuck on another case and got home just after 8 - then he was on call Saturday worked regular days getting home between 5-6 Monday and Tuesday then call again Wednesday - and we were SOO looking forward to post-call Thursday and J had taken Friday off - so J was going to have 5 days off in a row - and we needed it after the last week! 

Then - guess what?! - an email went out Wednesday afternoon saying that - due to some scheduling snafus - the "junior" fellow needed backup support and wasn't ready to work completely alone and there was a big case Friday that need a more senior fellow - so the guy post-call would need to stay and do it...the wording of the email didn't exactly ask J to come in, but it sort of made it clear that he was really needed! So, of course, since we weren't planning on leaving town, we decided that J should go in to help and be available as backup for the weekend. 

We offered for him to work Friday so the post-call fellow could go home - then, and I'm not sure how this happened in the conversation, but the schedule for the whole weekend was reworked and J ended up on call today. Whatever, stinks, but we are used to it, not that big of a deal, and we were promised a different long weekend for helping out - great! 

So, we were a little bummed, but we had a normal weekend and J kissed me goodbye and was off to work this morning like normal and I went back to sleep - only unlike normal - this morning I got a call at 5:40 - J had stopped at 7-11 for an energy drink and the car key had broken off in the door! Are you kidding me? So, he needed me to come get him and bring him to work - now this was no easy feat with a two year old and a three month old. 

I lumbered out of bed and got dressed - changed diapers and dressed the boys and headed out. By the time we got to daddy at about 6 - both boys were thoroughly awake and crying. Then Noah decided he was hungry and proceeded to cry the entire 20 minute drive to take daddy to work - we were able to nurse in the parking garage before heading home - so Noah fell asleep full and happy, but by that point there was no getting Owen back to sleep. Now, here we are 3 hours later - on the day that feels like it may never end - and naptime just may happen by 10am - although Noah has been asleep for two hours - so I'm sure he'll be up as soon as Owen is down - no naps for Mama! It's going to be a couple of cups of coffee morning!

Such is life as a doctor's wife - hope everyone else is having a better holiday than I am! With or without your other halves!

2 years and 2 months: 2 updates

I can't believe I have a two month old and a two YEAR old! It is just absolutely crazy! I have a lovey sappy birthday post I'm working on for Owen that I plan to post next week along with pictures from our celebration this weekend, but I thought I'd do some stats and photos for both boys in one post this month since we're pretty busy around here these days!

I'm taking both boys to the doc for their check-ups on 8/5 - so I'll update with percentiles and exact measurements then inside the parentheses, but for now my attempts at home:

 
Noah at 2mo:
Weight: 13.6lbs (13lb 8oz - 90th %ile)    
Length: 24" (22 3/4" - 50th %ile)

If I'm at all close, he's gained almost 2 pounds this month and grown 3" - but we were a pound high and an inch off on our measurements at home last month - so we'll see!


Owen at 2yo:
Weight: 32.6lbs (32lb 3oz - 95th %ile)    
Height: 36-37" (35 1/2" - 80th %ile)

They say that by the time you are 2 that you are 1/2 of your adult height - so if that's true we're looking at this guy being between 6' and 6'2" - crazy to think that my "baby" could get so big!


There are about 1/2 as many pictures of Owen as there are of Noah - simply because Noah can't escape me! Owen was done with picture taking in about 1.2 seconds! I managed to get one good smile once I told him he was done! Err! Toddlers! So, with that said, we'll start with Owen.

What mom?! I'm watching my show!

At two years old, you: 

- speak in sentences almost all the time - at least 3 words, but sometimes more
- are sort of TV obsessed and love Mickey Mouse, Cars 1 & 2, Despicable Me, Toy Story 1-3
- are super compassionate and caring - you worry so much about the characters in your shows and about your friends - you hate to see anyone sad or upset
- still take one nap a day ranging from 1-3 hours
- only use your binky in bed and in the car - we transitioned you about a month ago and you are doing really well with it
- go to bed between 8:30-9:30 and sleep until about 8 each morning
- wake up and come to my bed to cuddle and watch cartoons for an hour or so before we get up and go downstairs
- love naming all your (and everyone else's) body parts and naming everyone and everything you see around you
- are CRAZY about fruit snacks - which you call "gummies"
- love your baby brother soo much and always want to make sure that he is with us - unless you are hungry/thirsty, then you want me to put him away and help you instead
- have started RUNNING away as fast as you can in stores and in public - we have had to use a little bumblebee backpack leash that my friend, L, gave us - you are starting to listen when I tell you to freeze, etc.
- have had a lot of timeouts lately, but unlike most kids your age, when I tell you to go to timeout - you listen (90% of the time) and go right to time out! You also immediately start saying you are sorry over and over!
- love construction vehicles, emergency vehicles, motorcycles - pretty much anything that goes "zoom, fast!"
- would rather drink a million cups of chocolate milk and juice than actually eat food - although you do still eat a lot
- say please, thank you, sorry, you're welcome, bless you, and I love you - without prompting - you are super polite and considerate!
- still love to be worn in the Ergo, mei tei, or the wrap
- still love to sing This Little Light of Mine, but now also love singing Old McDonald Had a Farm
- repeat the letters to spell your name but it almost always goes: 
    M: O O: O  
    M: W O: W
    M: E O: E   
    M: N O: Owen!
- started putting yourself to bed, I tell you to go to sleep and you walk upstairs and lay down - I come check on you and tuck you in, kiss, and leave - and you go to sleep
- LOVE sitting in the crack in the middle of the couch - you've decided it's your spot and tell us "sit here" pointing to the sides and will push anyone out of the middle
- call Grandma F "Grampa" and call my mom "Jessi" so you ask all the time for  Grampa and Grampa far away and Poppy and Jessi in car!
 
Owen, overall, you may be developing your own opinions and testing every boundary that you reach, but you are an amazing kid! I love you soo much and I am so proud to be your mommy! I can't wait to start you TERRIFIC TWOS! Love you, Mama

Fine, I kissed him...are we done here?

 Noah - my newest baby - oh how I love you! Owen made me a mommy, but you get to enjoy a pre-broken-in Mom - it's so much easier to enjoy everything you do this time, because I'm not so worried I'll break you like I was with your brother - and I don't have to go back to work and leave you both! It still amazes me every day that you are here and that you are mine - and I marvel at all the ways that you are so different from and so similar to your brother! I can't wait to see how those similarities and differences change as you grow! Love you - Mama

At two months old, you:

- seem to be even stronger than your brother was at this age, you roll over all the time and do super awesome pushups during tummy time
- are a happy-go-lucky guy most of the time, but when you get mad/hungry/sad/etc - you go from 0 to 60 (more like 120) in no time flat!
- love to be held and cuddled all the time and seem to dislike naps this week unless mommy is holding you, but you...
- sleep like a champ at night, you vary with when you decide night begins (somewhere between 10pm-2am) but you sleep for a solid 5 hours, nurse and go right back to sleep, followed by another 4 hours of sleep before you wake to nurse again - then you sleep for another 2-3 before you are up for the day
- have totally figured out nursing and nurse like a champ now! It seems like our overactive letdown issues have settled out and you latch right on and chow - I stopped worrying about charting when you eat, because you are growing so well and let me know what you need
- nurse every 1-3 hours, except at night - this early on it seems like every time you settle into a feeding schedule, you have another growth spurt and eat every hour again - so we'll wait a little longer to see where you settle with that
- have been more and more awake and aware during the day, you love watching us and looking all around and actually don't hate tummy time nearly as much as your brother did
- have started losing your hair - sorry buddy, probably not the last time
- LOVE Mommy most of all - makes Daddy a little sad, but I think it's just because I supply the food
- LOVE being held or carried, so I'm very glad we have all the various carriers to wear you, since I have to take care of your brother too (as I write this, you are asleep on my back in one of the woven wraps! I love that I can wear you on my back with a woven, while you are still little - it is so much easier to get things done!)
- are starting to figure out the binky but still prefer Mom - you only seem to like the NUK ones, and not the little baby ones - those are too small for you - only the big baby size for you!
- still sleep in the Rock-n-Play next to our bed (we'll probably keep you there until you stop with your middle of the night nursing session - since you'll share a room with your brother and we don't want you both awake in the middle of the night!)
- still have dark gray eyes, but they are getting bluer - a really bright vibrant blue
- seem to grow and change each and every day! It seems like as soon as I think I have you figured out, you can do something else or change things up on me! It is so exciting knowing that I won't miss out on all the little day to day things you do like I did with Owen while I was at work!

Mom, I am DONE with tummy time!

Boys,
I love you both SO, SO much! I was absolutely made to be your Mommy and it is my honor to raise you up to be men of God and to do great things for His glory! May you both always know how incredibly precious you are to us (Mom, Dad, and the Lord)!

Love you forever and for always - 

Momma

Noah's arrival - Part 3 - Postpartum

Both boys minutes after birth

Once Noah had entered the world, I expected everything to immediately return to normal, but things didn't exactly work that way. Noah was placed on my chest and after a few minutes was weighed and measured and all of that - since he was so big (9lb8oz @ 37w2d) they were a little extra concerned about him. I got about a million stitches while he was checked out. When they put him back on my chest, he was a little lazy at first and wasn't really latching on and I felt guilty thinking he was that way because I had taken the Stadol. His blood sugar was a little low, as was his body temperature. Not enough to take him to the NICU, but enough that the nurses were really pushy - they let us try to nurse for about an hour and started really pushing a bottle of formula - we requested a cup to supplement with like we had used with Noah - and they sent for lactation - and the first LC who came was way less than helpful. Noah continued to be lazy and his blood sugar dropped more, so I relented and let the pushy nurse give Jason a bottle a formula to feed him as he really hadn't eaten at all in the first few hours. They also made us keep him under the warmer's for what seemed like forever.

While I had been on the Stadol and was all loopy and confused - my MIL, D, had arrived in town and picked up Owen from L's house where J had dropped him off that morning. J let her (and everyone else) know that Noah was here - and told them (D and Owen) that they could come after we were moved to the recovery room in a few hours. Because of the blood sugar and body temp issues we stayed in the delivery room a little longer than usual, but eventually they bathed Noah, got him warmed up again, and moved us over to the other room (they didn't have warmers in the recovery rooms - so that was why we couldn't leave). 

We moved over to recovery and my blood pressure stayed high, but got a little better and after 24 hours - we were getting a little better at nursing, blood sugars and temps were stabilized, and Noah was looking pretty good - except for the fact that he was very bruised - his nose and cheeks and all along the backs of his forearms. He looked like a little boxer and as time passed he was getting a little jaundiced. J stayed in the hospital with us while D was at home with Owen - and each morning J went home to take Owen to his swim lessons, so he wouldn't miss out and end up behind. (Those lessons were amazing, but that's another post). Then, Owen would go home and nap with "Gramps" as he liked to call her - and J would come back to me - then later D would bring Owen to the hospital for dinner and a visit each day. 

Owen was not really a fan of his baby brother at first, hated being in my hospital room, and didn't want Noah anywhere near him. He just wanted to walk the halls and leave with grandma - it sort of broke my heart! But, each day he did get a little better and would let Noah a little closer to him and spent some time cuddled up with me. 

After 24 hours they took me off of the mag, but my blood pressure didn't normalize like it should have and they continued my meds from pregnancy and increased the dose. But my BP kept rising, so they started my on a second med on day 2pp and I had to stay another night :( - by day three my BP was still super high, but the doc on call agreed to increase my dose and let us go home and monitor my BP at home! Yay! 3 days in the hospital is way too long! We were finally home Saturday afternoon and able to start adjusting as a family - and have Noah's newborn pictures taken on Sunday. Within, a few days at home, Owen was very protective of Noah and always wanted to know where he was and hold him - so I was happy to know that most of his difficulty was with the hospital and not with me or his brother.  

I had a check up about a week pp and my blood pressure was normal on meds, but my doc kept me on them, but said to continue checking at home and after another week I was off of both meds as my BP started getting low! Yay! I went for another check after a week off meds and BP was normal - and it was still normal at my 6 week check! Yay! Although, Owen was a little traumatized by all of this and gets berry upset when my blood pressure is checked now - he's a smart cookie and knows that when they checked momma she went away and slept at the hospital and he did not like that! 

After discharge, Noah had to go back after 24hrs for a jaundice check and his levels were even higher so we had to go in Monday for another check - then we got a call that said he had to go the the children's hospital and have him checked again that evening since his levels were even more elevated and that if they hadn't gone down - he would have to be admitted to go under the lights - I was super upset and we prayed like crazy and nursed as much as I could possibly get him too - even more than we had been - which was every two hours since we left the hospital trying to get things back to normal. Evidently, his jaundice was greatly increased by all he bruising from birth. That night we got the hospital and they couldn't find the lab orders from our doc, so we had to wait over an hour as they got a hold of the doc to send new orders - praying and waiting and praying and waiting. They finally brought us back and drew blood - then we waited the next half hour in the can for the results - to find out if he would be admitted or go home - and praise the Lord - we got a call that his bilirubin levels had dropped drastically - way more than could have been expected - and he didn't need to be admitted! We went home and scheduled another check for Wednesday along with his 1wk checkup. He had lost more weight since he left the hospital, but was back over his birth weight and completely over all jaundice issues by his 2 week appointment! 

So, overall, we were very blessed and protected, but it was quite the stressful two weeks while both Noah and I recovered and got healthy! I was so glad that J was able to be home for those two weeks with soo many doctors appointments and the nonstop feeding and feeling crummy from the BP meds (they made me tired and really achey) - then in the middle of that time J's parents came for the weekend and then at the end of J's time off work, my parents came for two weeks. So, our first month together was very full and blessed and passed very quickly! And now, Noah is already two months old and we are finally getting into a new routine an getting back out for playdates and a more normal life. It's amazing how long it really takes to start getting back to normal with two under two (only for a few more days!).

Even though my pregnancy and delivery were not ideal, Noah was and is so completely worth any and all difficulty in getting him here! I thank the Lord every day for both of my amazing boys!

Birth plans...and when things don't happen according to plan

So, birth plans...ha! I laugh in the face of birth plans - or at least my children laugh in my face for thinking I could plan their births.

I'm having a really hard time letting go of the idea of birth that I have in my head and how things are supposed to go and how smooth and gentle and natural. How calm - breathing through contractions - pushing and working hard, of course, but still beautiful - and I'm sure highly "hollywoodized." Except, it isn't just Hollywood promoting this beautiful birth picture in my head, that might actually be easier to press aside, it's my dad telling me all these Christian things about how I don't have to feel any pain and how I'm delivered from that and I need to have faith in God and so on and so forth - on one hand I want to say "dude, you are a dude - you aren't allowed to have an opinion here" and on the other it's really hard not to feel like I'm letting him down, like I'm not strong enough or I don't have enough faith to believe for the healing that he so believes for - and there really are women who say that it was all smooth and easy, etc. Then on top of that, you have the idea and fact that my mom had very healthy pregnancies and had both my brother and sister at home with a midwife - so that was my plan and ideal growing up - I was born in the hospital, but that was "due to the midwife rupturing membranes too soon and my parents not listening to the prompting of the Spirit to wait" - I was good with that idea - I was good with childbirth being hard but natural and beautiful and almost spiritual. This is the same ideal promoted by midwives and the "crunchy" and the naturally minded - "women have been doing this on their own in fields for thousands of years and getting up and getting to work...." And so on and so forth.

Yet, things haven't worked out for me that way in the birthing and pregnancy department - you can read/reread Owen's birth story here - things just don't always look the way you see them in your head - and I'm trying to cope with that and my vastly different reality without embracing/claiming it as MY fault or feeling badly about how I'm not strong enough or healthy enough or how I don't have enough faith. I'm really, really struggling with that and how to think about it and what the right perspective should be (although I do think it is a sign of a healthy grip on postpartum emotions that I am able to articulate this struggle). It's just hard when things don't go the way we hope they will - although I need to say that I know how completely and entirely blessed we are that things worked out as well as they did and that we all came out of the experience healthy and strong with no serious problems or issues! I'm working on writing up Noah's birth story and will post part one tomorrow. Sorry I've been so neglectful of this space for the last month - but I've been focusing on my little family and enjoying J's time off (we saved his vacation so he could have 2 weeks off after Noah arrived and it was amazing having him home and then my parents were here for two weeks after that), but now we are starting to get into more of a routine and get the little issues we've head under control, so I should be back here more regularly from now on! Thanks for your congratulations and support and for sticking around while I disappeared for a while!

Blog Every Day in May: Day 30

Challenge Day 30: React to this term: Letting Go

Each new chapter begins by bringing an end to the one before. Welcoming this new little family of four means saying goodbye to the family of three that we used to be. Tuesday night, when I got the call that they had found protein in my urine I wasn't ready - I wasn't ready to let go and say goodbye to my family of three. I was supposed to have another week - I was supposed to have a plan - and a last date before things changed. I was supposed to have a special weekend with Owen doing all his favorite things and saying goodbye to being just Owen's mom. Then in a moment - that was entirely unexpected - I was packing and making calls and doing all the last minute things to be at the hospital only hours later. I didn't get to have time to say my long, sweet goodbye - my life as I knew it was going to change - and it was going to change fast. And I, I am not good with change. I like plans and order and slow easy transitions that I can prepare for - but thankfully, I am not the one in charge - God is and He knows far better than I do what we need and the right timing for everything. He knew that it was time to let go and it was time to pull the bandaid on our life and what it used to be.

And guys, I'm so glad that He's in charge instead of me, letting go of who we were was the best thing I have ever done - and we have to let go in order to free our hands to embrace all the new, amazing things He has in store for us. I am so in love with being a mom of two, I am so in love with my new little boy, and the big brother that I know Owen will be. This new life that He create for us is so much better than any life I could have created for us - and I'm so glad that I let go of the old to embrace the new.

Quick Update: We are still in the hospital and I am off of the IV meds, but blood pressure is still too high - and went up a little after the IV meds were out of my system, so we are looking to get those under control tonight. Noah is doing fantastic, he's really figuring out nursing (nursed every hour last night - which mommy did not appreciate), and he's looking really good - we've dealt with a few little issues, but strong and healthy and with us - so that's exactly what we were praying for. Owen is loving his time with "Gpa" and doesn't particularly like this new "baby brother thing" we keep showing him and keeps telling us "all done" and "no touch" when we try to show him Noah - he let Noah get a little closer tonight than last night, but we'll get there. Daddy is great, but sleepy - looking forward to all of us spending the next two weeks together building our new little family! Once we're home and settled I'll write up Noah's whole birth story out - I still don't quite believe the way things all played out.

Blog Every Day in May: Day 29

Challenge Day 29:  Was supposed to be.... Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories. Use Grooveshark or YouTube to include them in the post
but, I've never really been all that into music - sure I like it and all, but it doesn't really speak to me - oh and instead of pushing it to try to stick to this prompt - I HAD A BABY TODAY!


So, I figured no one would mind if I went a little off prompt and shared the new deliciousness!

I went in to start cervadil late last night and pitocin this morning - and Noah arrived at 1:05pm! Birth story will be written up and shared later - but until then - enjoy the cute! And these memories are better than any song!

Last baby bump on the way to hospital, gowns, saline locks, and goodnight cuddles - oh my!

Noah James in all his glory! We are both doing well and I will right everything up just as soon as I can stop snuggling this giant cheeks!

Blog Every Day in May: Day 27

Challenge Day 27: A letter to your readers -- wow, 27 days! Almost done with #blogeverydayinMay

Our attempt at a family portrait on Easter - believe me, this was the best shot! :)

Hello friends,

Is it okay if I call you that? I'm never really sure about that word, but that's what I'd like us to be, so we'll go with it. 

Welcome, I'm so glad you are here, whether you follow along, stop by occasionally, or are just popping in for the first time today - I'm honored and thrilled that you took the time to take a little peek into our world - hopefully something you find here will inspire or encourage you or just give you someone/something to relate to and let you know that you are not in this life alone. I'd love for you to reach out and say hello whether by comments or email - I'd love to get to know you and your story and come to know how we can do this thing called life together - helping each other along the way! I'm not perfect - neither is my little family - and I don't expect you to be either - let's all just take life as it comes and always be striving to learn and grow together!

I've never been the friend who was very good at keeping in touch, or calling, or making plans to meet up - but I am the friend who will always and forever be there if you need me, no matter what. I am the friend who is always ready to pick  up where we left off the last time this crazy life got in the way - because that's the reality of life, especially life with littles, it quickly consumes us and whatever is not requiring our direct attention often falls to the wayside - so, I'm sorry friends if I take too long to respond or if I comment less than I should or if sometimes it feels like I just don't care - because that is just not true - I love each and every one of you and I'm here for you if/when you need me, whether we have known each other for years or have just met. You are important to me, each and every one of you - and I'm sorry that I let busy get in the way of showing that!

Can't wait to get to know you better!

Jess

Owen Matthew - 21 months old

Hey little boy,

This last month has been crazy and I was supposed to post an update on you when you turned 21 months on May 1st, but I didn't get it done, so instead this is a little bit of a longer update and covers the time before and after you turned 21 months! I'm posting this at the end of May and we'll see when we post your 22 month update - since, I'm not sure when your brother is coming and I don't want to miss this for you again - it might work better to do your update for the month at the end of the month though instead of when you first change months! Either way doesn't matter much because you are ALMOST TWO! Then I'll probably update on your changes every 6 months after that! I can't believe you are already such a big kid!

1st Big Ouch!

 You are still thoroughly in love with your binky, Elmo, giraffe, puppy (that Gpa got you), and all things truck/car/train/hel-cop-ter/dig-gur! If it goes - you love it! You even insist on sleeping with your trains and cars and your "new" airplane! It's so cute seeing you snuggled up with all these hard toys - it can't be very comfortable! This month, you got your first BIG ouchie - and went to the ER to get checked out after you fell looking at a helicopter! We were really worried that it would affect your love of vehicles and then a few days later we took you to a local "touch a truck" type event with all kinds of vehicles - and you were really scared at first and kept crying and telling us "ow" "ouchies" - but by the time we left that afternoon you were loving it again and realized that you were safe, you just had to be "care-fle" - when you say it is sounds a lot like waffle! :)

You love to "drive" and now you always want the keys & want to sit in the front seat - sorry dude - it's going to be a while!

I finally got your name up on the wall, since your ABC decals were falling down! I love how it looks over your bed and you love repeating your name and "spelling" it with mommy! You do a great job repeating and touching each letter and you are so proud when we finish your name! You also know that the baby in mommy's tummy is named Noah! Your language has really exploded this month and you are talking soo much! You almost always use 3 word sentences and you are getting really good at explaining yourself when we don't know what you want. You still get frustrated, but you try much harder to explain yourself before you give up! Mommy is super proud of how well you are talking and communicating with us and other people! We have even had some other moms talking about what a great job you do talking! You say pretty much anything that you want to and you learn lots of new words every day - mommy and daddy have to be careful, because we think sometimes we are saying things sarcastically and you pick up on our conversation and then misunderstand what words mean and then when you use words and slightly mispronounce them we have no idea what you are talking about, but you insist that you are right! The only wrong/baby word you use consistently for anything is that you still insist that your Grandma Deb is really "grampa." Once or twice you have accidentally said "gramma," but then you quickly correct yourself and change it back to "grampa" - no matter how many times we correct you! You have also continue to be super sweet and super polite - you say "tank you," "you we-gum," "peaze," "lub you" all the time now, often without any prompting at all!

You've been doing a great job dealing with all of mommy's doctor's appointment and all of the baby prep that is going on in our house - you have been getting into all the baby stuff and exploring it - since it was all once yours - but once you see that it's ok for you to explore you, you've lost interest and gone back to your big kid stuff! I think that is going to be the best way to help you cope with all of these changes - you can check out the baby stuff, but you are smart enough to know that you don't really want it! You are getting to be more and more of a big boy every day! You still love snuggling and cuddling up with mommy and daddy, but you are also doing a great job exploring and playing by yourself! Since the weather took so long to get nice, you missed out on a lot of playing outside, but now that it is warm you always want to be "ow-si" and want to go the the "pla-grow" pretty much every day! When mommy started getting high blood pressure, you did a great job cuddling up on the couch with me for most of the day and then playing crazy with daddy at night, but now that I have been taking medicine and feeling a little bit better - Mommy has been trying to make sure we get you outside more during the day too! Especially since at the end of May daddy was on call almost every other day since there were some conferences other people had to go to! You are still working on going in the potty, but we aren't really pushing it - you just go when you feel like it - we have lots of time to worry about that big boy stuff and not much more time that you get to be my little guy!

Love you soo, soo much!

I can't wait to see what June has in store for us when you are 22 months old and I finally get to see what a great big brother you are going to be! 

Love you, Mom

Blog Every Day in May: Day 10

Challenge Day 10: Most embarrassing moment(s). Spill.

I sit here typing this out, and can't help but laugh at myself even now. I have a laundry list of embarrassing moments - as I have been known to resemble my hair color and act like a bit of a "blonde" and I have never been particularly coordinated and have many stories of quite embarrassing falls - like that one rainy day in high school (when I was wearing flip flops because that's what you do in high school) - I was on my way to Bible class walking down the breezeway towards the new building when I slipped right into a puddle fell on my butt - my books flew everywhere and my pants were soaked - I managed to get myself back together and continue to class - slightly damp and more than a little embarrassed, when not more than 20 yards later as I entered the building I slipped and fell flat on the tile floor - in front of all of the same people who had seen me fall only moments before! It was a little rough sitting through that class between my wet pants and bruised bottom and ego - yet when asked what my most embarrassing moment has been - I can't claim that one. It would have to be the day that J and I got engaged and it really is a wonder that our engagement still occurred after the shame I inflicted on myself that afternoon!

As I've said before, I grew up and lived in the desert prior to this move - so we would do things like take trips to "go see snow." J and I dated twice, but the second time we got together at the end of November in 2011. On January 1, 2010 - we were already quite serious and J and I took my sister with us on a day trip about 2 hours north to go play in the snow! This was his first time really spending time with someone in my family outside of myself - and we didn't do much to advocate for our gene pool on this day!

We spent a while running around - making snow angels and snowmen, etc. Then, after a few hours of playing in the snow, we found a hill to go sledding. Now, something that you probably don't know about my family is that we are known to have rather small bladders and tend to need potty breaks every hour or so...and I'm pretty sure everyone now knows where this is going....While running up and down this hill and sledding, my little sister and I were laughing and joking and my sister began to pee her pants....I found this hilarious - and as I was cracking up laughing at her for peeing her pants - I peed my own pants (as captured by J - although from the bottom of the hill he thought we were just laughing as he snapped this pic). Keep in mind that J and I only dated for a little over a month - so my adult sister and I BOTH peed our pants in "public" (the forest is only kinda public) - in front of the guy I had been dating for about 5 weeks! I was MORTIFIED and slowly made my way down the hill, where we had to admit that we had both peed ourselves and needed to get cleaned up (thankfully we had brought extra sets of clothes!).

While incredibly embarrassing, J was clearly not dissuaded in his attraction* and love for me as he proceeded to propose that evening when we had returned to my house - and I'm so glad that he did! Although, it might have been a little harsh if he had returned an already purchased ring - but you never know - he might not have wanted to marry "miss pee-pee-pants"!
*there are some perks to dating/marrying a surgeon and one is that it takes a LOT to gross him out!

 

Since Saturday...

 otherwise known as the scariest day of this momma's life thus far.

After spending the second half of last week getting back into our routines with J back at work, I was happily preparing posts updating on our vacation and Easter celebrations and planning to plunk down Saturday evening to get a bunch of writing and photo editing done, but Saturday had a little different plan in store for our evening.

Saturday morning started off great, a friend of mine, who is newly pregnant, and I went to a local baby expo and got to spend the morning garnering lots of fun swag, checking out great baby vendors, and hearing some local doctors, midwives, and encouraging speakers - along with yummy snacks - and giveaways (I won a $100 gift certificate to a local medspa - not sure what I'll use it for, but still cool!). Then I came home and we decided that since it was such a gorgeous day we would walk to the Walmart (a little over 1/2 mile away) to pick up a few things and have dinner at one of the restaurants in the surrounding area - great plan right? We thought so, get some exercise, enjoy the beautiful spring weather, complete our errands, and have a family date all in one....

Well, we got to Walmart and there was an old military helicopter in the parking lot that we glanced at on the way in and pointed out to Owen. Then, as we are shopping, O continued to chant "copter, copter, copter" all through the store. So, on our way out we stopped to check it out a little more thoroughly and take some photos. Owen loved it - right up his transportation obsessed alley!

Then, Owen and momma posed on the stepladder while daddy took a few pictures, and the unthinkable happened. I was holding Owen's hands and he decided to climb onto the next step, so far, so good, then he was holding on and just as I opened my mouth to tell J to grab him because I couldn't reach him on that step and the steps were too tall for O to do on his own - Owen stepped right off the step and his foot didn't even come close to reaching the next step - J in mid-"snap" caught a picture of the asphalt as he tried, unsuccessfully to catch our son and I stood over him completely helpless to do anything but watch him fall or throw my body on top of his falling body.

It was quite literally the longest seconds of my life - everything was in slow motion as I watched his body tilt perfectly forward off of the step and fall headfirst to the asphalt almost three feet below him - straight onto his forehead - I watched him hit the ground and scrambled down the stairs as J raced towards us both of us reaching him together attempting to scoop the screaming toddler from the ground. I knew enough to know that the fact that he was instantly screaming was a very, very good sign (our God is a good good God!) - but I was still completely undone. I held my screaming, bleeding boy and was in panic mode - knowing that there was nothing I could do to undo this hurt - nothing that could change the situation that we were in and trapped in the moment that I started to tell J to grab him - that was just a little too late. I was less that present in the moment and less than nice to J, but I was at least smart enough to pray almost immediately - my arms wrapped around my sweet boy, my hand on his head, both of us bawling I cried out to God in tongues to please heal my baby boy and prevent any sort of more permanent damage.

We assessed his injuries as well as we could in the Walmart parking lot as he screamed and arched away from any contact with his injuries and we knew he needed to go the ER and get more thoroughly checked - but the panic was renewed as we remembered that we did not in fact have a car with us - and were facing a 20min+ walk home with a very pregnant me, a toddler who was not about to allow anything to be done with him but being held tight against my body, and injuries that we knew were at least somewhat serious. J kept talking to me and it was as if I could only partially hear him as I just kept telling Owen over and over how sorry I was that I let him get hurt and how much mommy wanted him to feel better and how much I loved him and all the other things that I just couldn't turn off on repeat to my poor boy - who I had failed as a mother in the biggest way I ever had in his life. It's my job to protect him, and this kid knows it, he looks to me and has no fear - he trusts me explicitly to always protect him from hurt and this was his first big hurt that I couldn't stop from happening.

I tried telling J to ask someone to drive him home, but he insisted that he would run and I would try to call my friend (who I'd been out with that morning and who lives nearby) to see if they could get J somewhere between Walmart and home to get the car quicker - we were both just so panicked in this moment and trying to determine any way to get the car and get O to the hospital as quickly as possible - so off J went and I dialed the phone walking down the street holding a screaming O on my chest above my 30 week belly in the ERGO, pushing the stroller - watching my husband running away down the street - and of course, my friend, L, couldn't understand a word I was saying into the phone in my barely outside of tears voice with O screaming over and over inches from the phone - I had to repeat myself over and over trying to explain what was going on and what we needed - finally L put her husband, C, on the phone and I was able to calm Owen enough to get the message across and C was on his way to pick us up and bring us to the ER where J could meet us (which probably made a little more sense than my plan) - we stoppped at a Dairy Queen a few blocks from Walmart to wait and I stood in the parking lot and called my mom to ask her to pray as patrons of the restaurant stared at the flustered pregnant lady and the screaming bloody toddler - no one sure what to do. I hurried off the phone with my mom as J called. He told me that a family that had seen us righ    after Owen fell in the Walmart parking lot and had thought we were rushing off to our car, but saw him running down the street and realized what was going on - so they stopped to pick him up and were driving him the rest of the way home (PRAISE THE LORD - and thank you, thank you, thank you to whoever you kind strangers were that stopped to help us!). C arrived at DQ and we were starting to fold up the stroller and get Owen into one of his kids carseats when J arrived and we transferred into our own car. I felt super guilty for involving L and C, disturbing their family time, and worrying them for essentially nothing as C got there and was with me for approximately 2 minutes before J arrived - I don't ask for help well or often - and then when I do, and I turn out to not absolutely need it, I feel awful - although I am BEYOND grateful that the Lord has provided us with friends that I can call in a panic and they'll come and so thankful to L and C for putting aside their evening to help us.

We determined that since he had calmed down a little and hadn't lost consciousness that we could make the 25 minute drive to the children's hospital where J works downtown rather than the adult hospital near our house. J made some calls so they would be expecting us when we got there and off we went. It was during this drive that my heart rate was finally able to slow a little and I began to breathe a little more like a human being, but then I got another scare. While I was glad that Owen had finally stopped screaming, during the drive he started to get really drowsy, which was difficult to know if this was because it was almost 7:30 and he'd never had a late afternoon nap, or due to his head injury - so a scared mommy did everything she could to keep him awake and responsive for the rest of the drive (that I'm sure daddy was probably driving quite a bit faster than he should have).

Watching the train at the hospital right after we were discharged

We arrived at Children's and parked in employee parking - looping through the entire hospital to ER check-in, where they were expecting us with a room ready - it was so reassuring to know that these people knew J and cared about us personally - and to be able to avoid all the stress and fear that normally goes along with an ER visit as you wait what seems to be endless amounts of time for help. Every nurse knew Owen by name and knew my name and were genuinely concerned about both Owen and I (when I went to the bathroom I could see my face was bright red from the stress and the exertion of carrying around a 29lb kid for far longer than 30 week pregnant mom probably should (he was not about to let daddy hold him though). They checked him out, and as J told me on the way to the hospital it is actually his job to assess head injuries and determine what treatment and tests they need (but momma still wanted a second opinion as it is super super hard to be objective about your own kid). We were pretty worried when we were on our way, but as we arrived in the ER, O seriously perked up and started pointing out and naming things in the waiting room as we checked in - he smiled and pointed to show me a "graff" - giraffe - and "baball" - basketball - on TV then over the next 10-20 minutes he continued to show signs of perking up and being himself - so daddy and surgical fellow on call that night both agreed that he didn't need a CT scan and decided we should give him some juice and wait to make sure he kept it down and didn't show any other concerning symptoms. Nurses delivered his juice, along with a box of toy cars and a super-cool ramp, to the room and we camped out for a while to make sure he continued to improve. O happily played and ate up all the attention from the nurses until we determined he was well enough to go home under daddy's watchful eye (O didn't want to leave his toy cars, but was finally persuaded when promised the dinner we should have had hours ago and a chance to play with his doggy, Wy-Wy (Wyatt)).

Sunday morning cuddles before church

We kept O in our bed Saturday night to keep an eye on him (J woke up every 2 hours to check his breathing, etc), and I laid awake staring at him for hours - all the fear and adrenaline of the day still pouring through me - and each time I closed my eyes I would see his fall over and over again, each time unable to do anything to change it. I prayed for peace and thanked the Lord that O was okay and praised Him endlessly for the blessings and protection in our life, because I know how bad that this situation could have turned out. How wrong everything could have gone, and how each step of the way the Lord was with us, guiding and protecting us, leading us. Showing us his grace and mercy in our fear. Yesterday and today, O has continued to improve and while he has been extra cuddly, a little afraid of stairs, and more easily frustrated than normal - he is doing soo well and I so very much appreciate all the prayers of our friends, family, and my Bible study group as we were going through this scary, scary evening/weekend. I'm just amazed over and over at how blessed we are and I am so grateful for all the love and support through the whole thing and how grateful I am that scary was all it was, when it could have been so much worse. God is good all the time!

Sunday at church, still a little sad and pouty

Dinner today, mostly back to normal