Blog Every Day in May: Day 26

Day 26, Sunday: Something you read online. Leave a link and discuss, if you'd like.

*Disclaimer - I am not a doctor or an expert on sleep, sleep safety, or anything else - everything stated here is simply my understanding and my opinion - please research these ideas for yourself and make informed decisions* 

Photo from article - not shared as an opinion or endorsement either way

So, in the world of moms and babies - there are lots of opinions and sides and things to argue about - yet in the end, we all just want what is best for our babies. I was recently linked to this post through Facebook and after reading the article and some of the comments - I have to say it left me more than a little bit frustrated. I'm not here to argue for or against co-sleeping or bedsharing or crib sleeping or any other parenting choice when it comes to getting your kid to sleep - those are your decisions and you need to know the risks and benefits of each option - weigh them accordingly - and make your informed parenting decisions. It's not my place to say what you should or shouldn't do.

There are two things that really, really frustrated me about this article and the responses it was getting. First, this article, and many others like it, uses the terms "bed-sharing" and "co-sleeping" interchangeably. This is soo confusing to many new parents as they hear about all of the "benefits of co-sleeping" from many different places - then read something like this and are completely unsure of what to do. Bed-sharing is the practice that this study actually refers to, that is often linked to SIDS and can be quite dangerous - although many, many families bed-share successfully and safely by following many of the precautions discussed in the article as well as others. The family bed is not a new concept. Co-sleeping is not the same thing as bed-sharing - co-sleeping is having your infant in the same room as you to sleep, but sleeping in a separate sleep structure (bassinet, pack n' play, crib, sidecar crib, etc). This practice is considered much safer by many experts and is said to lower SIDS risk as parents are in close proximity to baby and can hear breathing, etc., to more closely monitor the infant. It drives me crazy that the terms are so often switched and then dangers or benefits linked to studies of one or the other are misinterpreted. Secondly, when reading through the comments it drives me crazy and hurts my heart the way we respond to information like this - on both sides. If you are informed and make educated decisions about how you are raising your children - then there is no reason to have hurt feelings, be defensive, cursing, and attacking in your response to information that disagrees with your stance. Your experience is your own, and while often a minority opinion will feel marginalized, it will never help your case to attack the other side.

What do you think? Why do we get so caught up in attacking those who disagree with us and tearing them down? Why can't we disagree and still get along? Or am I just being naive? This issue in particular is a safety issue, and I understand being passionate about your position and sharing information with others to help keep kids safer - and I'm all for that, but can't we (on both sides) look at that information objectively and make our decisions - instead of blindly following "rules" or calling studies "crap" because they do/don't agree with what you were told?