I want to apologize to my boys - I want to tell you both that I'm sorry that I failed you as a mommy before you were ever even born - I'm sorry that my body betrayed you, Owen, with gestational diabetes and now you, Noah, with gestational hypertension. I'm sorry that I put you both in danger when it is my job to provide you with a safe home to grow and develop. Mommy is so sorry she couldn't provide a better first home for you!
Owen, I'm sorry that I have been and am going to have to continue to be such a crummy mom! I'm sorry that we sit on couch watching TV and cartoons most of the day - when we should be running and playing and learning! I should be taking you to the zoo and parks and soaking up these last weeks with just the two of us and mommy just can't because it seems like everything we try to do is making my blood pressure worse and that's not okay either. I was so looking forward to all the things that you and I could do as the weather warmed and we waited for your brother and I'm so sorry that instead you have a mommy who can't chase or carry you and who sits around so much! Thank you my sweet boy for being so loving and understanding as we've had to deal with hospital visits, so many doctor's appointments, and far too much couch time! I love you so much, buddy, and I'll make it up to you when Noah is here and we will all have so much fun together! I know we have a lot of changes in store, but I know we can get through this together and everything will be okay in the end!
